The Underbelly of Affluence

The NY Times has a really interesting article on state-sponsored AIDS drugs for the homeless and poor, and what happens when a state chooses, for whatever reason, not to fund those drugs.  It's interesting because it bring into harsh light exactly happens to those whom the private health care industry leaves behind (i.e. those who cannot afford health insurance) - they die.  Yet, at the same time, one wonders if paying $885 per month per patient for AIDS drugs is the best use of state resources and taxpayer money.  A state is charged with so many different tasks - educating the future, conserving what little wildlife we have left in America, keeping up infrastructure, etc., that state-sponsored health care inevitably drains money from those other resources.  What exactly is the best allocation of resources?  What do we want our legacy to be?  Do we want to fund education at the expense of the health of the less affluent?  Do we want to keep as many of our citizens alive at the expense of our environment and our education?  Or do we want to do as much as we can with as little as we have, thereby ensuring equal opportunity for all programs, but excellence in none?

We do seem to be moving to the point where health care costs are so out of control that some form of government regulation appears necessary.  The market is, frankly, not working.  But complete government ownership over the health care system comes with its own massive problems.  One need only take a look at the tangled web of Medicare, which doesn't even cover half of American's population, to realize that government health care would have massive systemic problems.  But what are the solutions?  America has never seemed to wholly believe in social Darwinism - the idea that those who fall by the wayside are better lost, yet America is also firmly against the prospect of wholly shared resources (the bare mention of socialism in some parts of the United States is enough to inspire McCarthy-like gesticulation and spitting).  We are capitalists with a conscience, but our problems our bigger than our resources.  What is there to do?

Arizona's Gut is Expanding

My home state is now the fastest growing state in the union, swelling tremendously thanks to displaced Californians, immigrants from south of the border, and the ever expanding retiree population.  Hmm...my decision to stay on this side of the country keeps looking better and better.

The Evils of Pop Culture

There are positives and negatives to being an avid consumer of pop culture. The positives including rocking the Entertainment category in Trivial Pursuit, being your friends' handy go-to guide for movie information (who the hell needs Ebert when you've got me?), and dreaming of Katherine Heigl (directly related to a recent overdose of Grey's Anatomy DVDs, no doubt - I need to do that more often). I'm not sure all those positives outweigh the large negative that happened the night before last, however - I dreamed that Britney Spears was my teenage daughter and I needed to help control her drinking and partying. Having Britney be present in a dream is a frightening enough occurrence, but actually being related to her is enough to want to make me move to the wilds of South Dakota and feed on nothing but root vegetables and the Outdoor Network. I thoroughly blame US Weekly (and MTC, who provided aforementioned illicit materials) for this hypothalamus horror show. The only saving grace was that Paris Hilton didn't show up in the dream. I'd rather have constant nightmares that the Taco Bell Chihuahua was eating me alive, toes first, while saying, "Yo Quiero Taco Flesh" than to have that woman show up anywhere in my ego, id, or superego. Gah!

God Before Country

It's a sad day in this country when Christian evangelicals can get inside access to the Pentagon to make a 10-minute, pro-evangelical video, but a pagan soldier who died serving his country can't get a Wiccan-themed headstone without much hassle and delay.  Your job is to serve your country and your fellow citizen.  Serve God on your own time, bucko.

The Brain/Hand Dilemma

Brr...it is motherfuckinggoshdarnnutbusting freezing here today!  Why is it again that I live in a place that has actual winter?  Oh right, it's because someone once told me that I looked hot in a turtleneck.  Screw the turtleneck, I look good naked, too, and could just as easily go to work naked if I lived someplace temperate, like Arizona, Florida, or Argentina.  Okay, fine, I'm a lawyer, I should dress up a little bit.  I'll wear a tie.

I'm getting a little fed up with the bureaucracy of my job...although I'm given a great deal of responsibility, I also have to write a memo for my superiors on just about everything.  Sometimes, when I go to the bathroom, I wonder if I should have sent up a memo on that, too, explaining the various pros and cons behind squatting or sitting, using a toilet seat cover or not.  Hmm...maybe next time I send a memo up, it'll be on that subject.  I wonder if anyone will notice.

I think it's time to think about other employment.  Perhaps I'll take my hands on a freak show tour of the United States.  After measuring my paws against a 6'5'' guy's hands and realizing that my fingers were only about a quarter-inch shorter than his, I've decided that I'm a certified freak of mammalian nature (since I only stand a mere 5'11'' 1/2 at last measurement).  Although, I'm not sure that the profit from selling tickets for freakishly large hands will quite cover my gym membership, let alone my rent, so perhaps I should just seek a job in which I could use my hands.  Hmm...massage school, perhaps?  Those guys make like $1 per minute, which is definitely more than my brain makes per minute in my current job.  Alas, my brain is the inferior breadwinner!

The Biology of Religion

Discover magazine has a really interesting article on researchers who are seeking a biological basis for religiosity.  From religious-leaning genes to hallucinogens that we produce naturally in our heads, these researchers seek to explain religion as a somewhat biological experience.  (The hallucinogen theory is my favorite, as test subjects who were dosed with the naturally-occuring hallucinogen not only reported mystical, religious experiences, but also visions of clowns, elves, robots, and being eaten alive by insectoid creatures.  Nice!)  That would totally debunk my theory that religion is an essentially human narrative, handed down through the ages as compensation for the fact that humans, for whatever reason (perhaps genetic or chemical), tend to feel incomplete when left all by their onesies.  We seem to have a deep, internal need to find some "other" that is not "self," as evidenced by Aristophanes' theory of split-aparts, Christians' search for knowing God through Jesus Christ, Buddhists' search for enlightenment, as well as the common conception of marriage and monogamy as an interweaving of two souls and lives (unity candle, anyone?)

Quote of the Day

"He needs much help who thinks he can compel others to do what seems right to him."

Santa's Butt, Trans Fats, and Breeding Cheneys

Maine is prohibiting the sale of "Santa's Butt Winter Porter," under the theory that beer named after Santa's posterior is sure to attract sugarplum fairies and wee ones.  Last year, Maine prohibited the sale of "Seriously Bad Elf" Ale from the same beer distributor because it depicted women's bare breasts.  Because, after all, those old enough to drink still aren't old enough to look at a woman's bare boob.  (Just ask Department of Justice attorneys under Ashcroft's reign of chastity.)  The beer maker is now suing Maine in federal court under a First Amendment freedom of speech argument.  Well, if the Supreme Court seems some artistic value in pole dancing, then I suppose there's some artistic value in a beer label.

Mary Cheney and her partner are on the cusp of breeding.  If it's a boy, I'm sure grandpappy will be happy to buy him a Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle for his third birthday. 

New York has decided to ban pretty much all trans fats in its restaurants, leaving places from McDonald's to Chez Swanky to figure out gustatory work-arounds.  While I fully support making restaurants disclose caloric counts and what items have trans fats, I'm not sure that forcing all restaurants to eliminate them is warranted government intrusion.  After all, if you simply provide people with all the info, and they tend to choose non-trans fat items, then the market will likely adapt.  If the market fails in that instance, then go for government regulation, but it seems like we're missing the middle step here.  Markets tend to work, so long as their is equal distribution of information.

Snarky, the Artiste

So, I'm assembling a frame today for my bar certificate, and my secretary comes by and says, "I bet you're really good at art."  Hahahahahaha.  I informed her that while I am perfectly handy, I was the kid who got a "B" in elementary school art, which loosely translates into "artistically retarded."  Every kid in elementary school gets an "A," except for those who are upstaged in their artistic expression by schizophrenic cats, i.e. me.

Oh well, artistic expression aside, I have now assembled a lovely little wall 'o Snarky at my office.  Now, my colleagues can come into my office and be assaulted by my various accomplishments, beaming down at them from behind my chair like a ray of light from heaven (or, perhaps, the fading, sputtery fluorescent beam of one who longs for the golden days of law school).  Now, I just have to decide whether to put up my high school accomplishment awards for perfect attendance.  Thoughts?

News of the Day

The Supreme Court heard oral argument in two cases yesterday, the issue being whether urban schools can use race-based classification systems to maintain racial diversity.  The New York Times is reporting that a majority of the new Supreme Court was decidedly antagonistic to the race-based classification system.  Evidently, the ends don't justify the means.  Take that, Machiavelli!

The District of Columbia got a little unexpected help from Utah, of all states, in moving a step closer to getting an actual, honest to goodness vote in the House of Representatives yesterday.  Evidently, massive political and racial divides don't matter when it comes down to getting another notch on the voting belt.

In an effort to make Snarky's nightmares come one step closer to reality, Senator Sam Brownback formed an exploratory committee to examine a potential run for the presidency.  Yes, this is the same man whose presentations to his peers in Congress have included animations of talking stem cells and family portraits that contain no gay people (that he knows of).  One can only imagine what kind of presentations we'd get from him once he had all of America as a captive audience!  If that man is elected president, I will happily jump into a vat of polonium and defect.

Charming Christmas Gifts

For those of you who are scrambling to buy last-minute Christmas gifts, Wonkette has a few choice suggestions, including Cold War Unicorns (screw My Little Pony - what happens when Commie unicorn takes on Freedom unicorn in a no-holds-barred contest of unicorn horn superiority? ) and a delightfully femme-y and pink "Bring Back the Crusades" t-shirt (because what this overpopulated world needs is a thorough cleansing of infidels!).  Remember, it is the giving season.

Holiday Flying Adventures

For those of you who may find yourself waylaid, delayed, or otherwise put out to pasture this holiday travel season, keep these tasty morsels of information in mind. First, if you happen to miss your connecting flight due to the error, idiocy, or general arbitrariness of the airline companies, see if you can strike sympathy in the heart of your new ticketing agent to get upgraded to first class. It really is better in the front of the boat. When I got delayed five hours on Thanksgiving Day, my upgrade to first class got me a three-course meal, a glass of wine that the flight attendant constantly tried to refill (from a real, honest-to-goodness bottle), and my own personal DVD player. I didn’t actually want to get off the plane when I finally reached Seattle!

Second, if your baggage should happen to get lost somewhere in America, be sure to call it in to the airline you last flew on, report it missing, and ask what the airline’s policies are on reimbursing you for clothes bought while your luggage was running amok. Usually, it’s a pretty small amount ($25 or $50 per day), but still, there was something awfully satisfying about making the airline who lost my luggage reimburse me for some panties I bought from a sex shop (Toys in Babeland, of course) to hold me over until I could get my bag, and hence access to my more boring panties. I hope that receipt made them smile as much as it did me.

And lastly, try to remember that while the holidays may seem like a more stressful time to travel, they’re just one day out of a lifetime. In the grand scheme of things, a few extra hours in an airport or a couple of days without any panties aren’t any big deal. It’s those kind of events that leave the door open for first-class, sex-shop-panty-buying fun!

It's in the Sauce

Evidently, 63% of those in the United Kingdom think that Arrabiata is a sexually transmitted disease. For those of you similarly deluded, Arrabiata is actually a spicy Italian red sauce commonly found atop spaghetti noodles. Perhaps this is why I had a hard time finding good Italian food in England...

Interesting News of the Day

Japan is bringing back the jury system to its criminal courts in 2009. Japan used to have the jury system in its criminal courts, but juries were abolished by the military government in 1943 and haven’t been heard from since. The Japanese juries will be composed of nine people - three judges and six citizens chosen by lottery - and the cases will be decided by majority vote.

Twenty-five conservative rabbis are convening to rethink their approach to gay sex. No word on whether there will be any movie screenings or live demonstrations to help them with their deliberative process.